The Things They Say

I realize that kid quotes generally aren’t absorbing to people other than their parents. However, this is first and foremost a (very rarely updated) family journal so here goes.

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This baby lives to take off her pants. Winter, Shminter. You can always tell when she’s succeeded because she lets loose a delighted chortle, then goes on tour showing off her pudgy pink legs to the whole family.

Josie (19 months) has a beloved elephant. We gave Elephant to her for her first Christmas and he quickly became her special toy. For a long time she didn’t call him anything. A couple of months ago she started calling him, of all things…”Beer”. Beer the Elephant. We finally figured out that she was copying her big sister who has a beloved bear, very originally named “Bear”. After a month of “Beer” Josie made a fresh verbal attempt at “Elephant” and landed on “Onion” as her best approximation. Another month later and she’s crept forward to “Ey-fun”. We will miss Beer-Onion the Elephant.

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Jack (4), casually announced to no one in particular while putting on his astronaut costume: “I’m getting ready to save the world.”

Moments later, struggling with the costume’s zipper with his tongue out in concentration he panted “I’m. Not. Ready. To save. The world.”

Finally dressed he pumped his fists in the air, cheered “I’m ready to save the world!” and…ran straight over to his sisters to roar in their faces and deliberately annoy them as much as possible.

If you’d asked me for a three sentence summary of A Four Year Old Boy that’d do it.

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Jenny (2.5) doesn’t understand what an astronaut is, but has her own astronaut costume that I bought for a couple dollars through a local swap site last fall. She loves dressing up with her big brother. The other day I helped her into her costume as Jack put his on. Jenny strutted all over the house pointing to herself and announcing “air-cot! air-cot!” I can’t figure out if I’m raising an astronaut, an apricot, or a French green bean.

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Annie is going through a potty mouth stage. It’s typical for four, but that doesn’t mean it’s socially acceptable when a preschooler walks around all day to a steady mantra of “poopy. poopy. poopypoopypoopy.” Last week she tried it again with her Occupational Therapist. The OT told her that they could only use nice words while playing together. Annie’s solution was to stand up, run to the corner of the room, cup her hands over her mouth and whisper “poopy” as softly as she could any time she felt the urge to misbehave. With that out of her system she’d run to the therapist to play politely, sure she’d obeyed the rules. I don’t like potty mouth but I have to admit that kid brains crack me up. Got a favorite method for reforming a potty mouthed kiddo? I’m all ears.

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4 thoughts on “The Things They Say

  1. Potty mouthed, um well it’s a little strong and not sure I’d do it with a 4 yr old, but any infractions earn a taste of apple cider vinegar. Only had to do it twice for different kids, deters everyone else and repeat offenders.

    • It has the upside of being healthy, too 😉 ! I have very clear memories of my mother washing my mouth out with soap for foul language. It was very effective.

  2. These crack me up!
    I told my son (at about 4yo) that “toilet words are only for the bathroom”. So he would go in the bathroom and scream “POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!” As silly as that was, I do think giving “the words” their proper place helped to shorten the phase.
    Now his favorite phrase is “My Mom is trying to kiiiiiiiiiilllllllllll me” when asked to do most anything. I’m choosing the ignore it technique (and it seems to be working), but I think I preferred the scatological period!

    • Ha! We did attempt the “you can only say it in the bathroom” approach, but no luck… Helpful to know that, as with most childhood stages, they’ll soon be up to something new and children yelling POOPY will be the least of my worries ;).

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