1) Every time we get in the car Jack announces we’re in some type of vehicle. “We inna helicopter!” “We inna motorcycle!” “We inna garbage truck!” However, his vehicular monopoly is under siege as his twin sister becomes marginally more verbal with speech therapy.
Jack: “We inna backhoe!”
Annie: “Fire truck.”
Jack, shocked: “Backhoe!”
Annie: “Fire truck.”
…looking forward to the next fifteen years of roadtrips with these two…
2) How to give your mother the heebie-jeebies in thirty seconds:
Jack, popping his head up: “Oh, do you hear Dada?
Me: “No, Daddy’s at work bud.
Jack: “Oh…do you hear a man?”
Me: “No, I don’t hear a man.”
Jack: “Do you hear the man? I hear him. I’ll go find the man.”
*begins hunting through the house*
Why yes I did stop what I was doing and check for a burglar.
3) There’s a large medical facility under construction near our home, and Jack and Annie always perk up as we approach.
Jack: “Look, there’s a bulldozer and there’s a backhoe!”
Me: “That’s right bud. A backhoe is also called an excavator.”
Jack: *slowly and carefully* “EX-TUBE-A-TOR”
File under “Easy Ways to Identify the Child of a Critical Care Physician”.
4) The twins turned three in September, and were very excited about their birthday. They’d caught the idea from various books featuring birthday parties and couldn’t wait for their own. Not that the concept had completely sunk in. First Jack spotted us carrying in two wrapped presents from a neighbor and asked if he could have his birthday. We told him no, it wasn’t for five days. He collapsed in histrionics, soon joined by Annie. After watching us carry the presents upstairs he requested to go upstairs because his “birthday was upstairs”. We again explained that those were presents for his birthday, but that his actual birthDAY wasn’t for five days. Later at naptime he was unusually eager to head upstairs. He took one look around his room and burst into despondent sobs. At first we couldn’t make out what was saying, but eventually figured out that he kept repeating “where’s my birthday, where’s my birthday?” over and over.
Once they actually had their birthday they were delighted, but couldn’t quite grasp the full concept. Every time anyone wished them happy birthday they enthusiastically responded “Happy Birthday!” right back.
5) The kids’ reactions can be volatile when the man has an ICU week. He leaves before they’re awake and returns after they’re in bed for the night. As far as they’re concerned, he’s just gone for a week each month. Emotions and behavior can both go off the rails. I could hear Carl upstairs putting the twins to bed. He explained that he was about to start another ICU rotation. He told them where he’d be and how long he’d be gone, then reaffirmed behavior standards for the week. As he finished he said “So, promise to be nice to Mama?”
Jack: “No thank you”
At least he’s honest.
6) Annie, looking at the wedge of onion, red pepper, and feta frittata I’d just placed on her booster tray: “Pizza!”
Guess I should cut more of her food in triangles for easy mealtimes, at least while she’s this young and gullible.
7) The twins just had their three year checkups. They haven’t had doctor’s visit in a year so both were impressed by the novel experience. Or, more accurately, Annie screamed in terror but then fell in love with the tongue depressor, while Jack flirted with the doctor and didn’t want to leave the train-shaped exam bed.
Jack: “When I grow up I can be a doctor.”
Me: *surprised at this unusual forethought from him* “That’s right, you can become a doctor if you want to.”
Jack: “When I grow up I can be a moon! When I grow up I can be a tree!”
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