The house missed the memo that everything malfunctions after the spouse deploys. It’s nose-diving now instead. Two out of three hinges on the storm door snapped, leaving it leaning like a wobbly drunk. The upstairs toilet just broke in exactly the same way as the downstairs toilet did last month.

The question is, are we getting all the breakages out of the way before deployment, or is the house just limbering up to unleash chaos after Carl leaves?


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